Paul's Grandma died today.  She had just started chemo treatments on Mon. so it wasn't expected for this to happen yet at all.  She was feeling nauseous last night, and then sick this morning and when Paul's mom checked on her later this morning she had passed.  She's being buried in OH, so we will be driving to OH probably leaving here on Christmas day.  Please pray for safety. 

Also it was hard telling the kids today since they're so close to her.  Ashley got it.  Not sure Isaac really did.  We talked about how she would be with Jesus for his birthday and she wasn't sick any more, which made Ashley happy, but still she's been really quiet about it. 

Before the kids even knew, when I called Paul to let him know I was driving them to Chris's, I got off the phone and Ashley said, "Mommy, we can't see God." 

I said, "No, but he's everywhere."

Isaac said, "He's in the car, too."

My little therapists. :)

Thanks for your prayers.

love,

rachel

Chris called tonight and asked if I would take him to the airport tomorrow.  He & Joy will be flying out at 5:30 A.M. on his way to Iowa to visit the Doplers at the hospital.  Please be praying for them as they travel, but especially for Cindy...  I know that plane tickets aren't cheap right now, but Chris didn't have to even think twice before booking his flight. To him, the Doplers are family. Chris's selfless example is definitely making me think about my own willingness to encourage and help. Please be thinking of ways to encourage them.  Chris talked to Josie earlier today and said he felt like they really needed someone to be there for them right now.  I'm sure this is incredibly scary for all of them.  I just keep thinking what God has totally been laying on my heart over the past few months:  We are so much more than this body.  There is so much more that this life.  He is so much more than we can ever comprehend, so why try to even comprehend it or put who He is in a box?  The Beginning and the End...the most incomprehensible part of it all.  And He breathed in us the breath of life.  May His Holy Spirit possess us to be the instruments He intends us to be. 

The first time I really became aware of how limitless His power is, despite the limits and rules I impose upon Him, was several years ago when I moved away from the midwest and started out in FL making new friends, finding a new church, starting new jobs...it took several at first...   At one of the jobs, I met a girl whose background was the polar opposite of mine.  We got paired up a lot at work, since I was able to keep a "good attitude" which she struggled with, but she was a more experienced sales person, so we were both to teach each other.  I didn't do all of those things that I originally believed in my mind I should do.  I didn't follow the "rules" of witnessing as I had in the past.  I merely was myself...the self that the Holy Spirit now had a hold of.  I didn't bang a Bible over her head, but I also didn't use the same language as the others or get drunk evey night like the others or lie like the others.  She first approached me asking about God.  She initiated many conversations on road trips we had.  I found that she felt comfortable asking me questions.  After several months of getting to know eachother and countless conversations, she ended up moving out of state.  We talked on the phone quite regularly at first and then all of the sudden I stopped hearing from her.  Several months passed and she did not return my calls.  Until one day...she called and told me she was returning and she was pregnant and she really needed a big favor.  She asked if I would come with her to the baby shower that her boyfriend's mom was having for her.  She said I was the only friend she knew would not embarrass her by cussing in front of everyone.  I agreed to go and on the drive there, my head kept telling me, "You have to invite her to church...if you don't you will have failed her...you have to bring her to Jesus."  My heart however was strongly urging me not to, but to instead be the friend she needed right now, to make sure to arrange a time to meet up again and to trust in the guiding of the Spirit. 

It was very difficult for me to do this in some ways.  As I left the shower that day I felt guilty for not inviting her to church or bringing up God with her.  I was beating myself up inside for not listening to my head. 

The next day was Sunday and upon arriving at church, Paul and I entered the foyer and guess who was standing right there in front of us...as if they were waiting on us or something??...She and her boyfriend were both there.  They didn't even have any idea that we went to church there.  I felt chills.  I finally understood. God is so much bigger than anything we can comprehend.  We are His vessels and it is so extremely important for us to be in tune with the guiding of the Holy Spirit within us. 

God is still working in that particular friend's life.  It's not His time...yet.

Since then she has floated in and out of my life, but she always comes back.  Just two days ago, at church on Wednesday night, the message reminded me of that moment again.  As I sat there, I thought of her and wondered, "will I hear from her again", I was immediately answered with, "Of course, He always brings her back." 

I went home from church and when  I checked my email the next day I had a message from her that she wants to meet with me.  It's been almost a year since I've seen her.  God works in mysterious ways.  May His Spirit possess me to be the vessel to show Himself in His way and His time for His glory...

Ashley's teacher is expecting a baby, so we've heard lots of baby talk from Ashley lately.  The other day she asked, "Mommy, do you have a baby?" 

I said, "I did, but now you and Isaac are big."

She replied, "We need to get one. Ms. Trina is getting one and when she gets him, we're going to pet him."

Later on she commented again that she wanted a baby.  I said, "YOU are going to have a baby??"

She laughed,"No, Mommy, not till I'm married."

***

At bedtime one night Paul commented to Ashley on how big she is getting.  She replied, "God makes me big."

He said, "Wow! God makes you big?"

She said, "Yes, She DOES."   Hmmm....we're still working on the pronouns. 

The last time that I explained to her that God was not a girl she said, "Ohhh, God's a boy?????  Superman's a boy, too."

Jesus's long hair is also really throwing her off.  We've finally convinced her that Jesus is a boy, but she remains firm on her idea that Jason from American Idol is NOT a boy.  I've given up on that one.  He does look kinda girlish.... :)

And regarding the speaking to big people issue...or lack thereof...I finally got a time frame for when she will be big enough.  "I'll be big when I can drive the car.  I don't talk to big people, Mommy, not till I'm bigger." 

Isaac is being two.  As if I need reminding.  He's started sticking his lips out like a "cool" kid in the 80's when he pouts.  He was in time out when I picked him up from daycare one day last week.  When we were ready to leave I said, "Ok, give your teacher a kiss and a hug and a high 5.  (This is his usual routine.)  He refused to do so, but just as we were leaving he stopped me and said, "Wanna give her a 4." 

I hear Isaac reprimanding Ashley. "Not right now, Ashey. Not right now."  Guess it's time to get back to reality.

Ashley said, You're too loud Isaac